<\/p>\n
Losing a pet: grieving the loss of a pet after euthanasia<\/h2>\n
It has been 11 days since I had to put my dog to sleep.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m better than the first few days after losing him, but I am far from okay. Not having him in my life has left a hole in my heart and I’ll never be the same.<\/p>\n
I sometimes look to the right of me on my couch and expect to see him there. It was raining last night and for a moment I thought I heard him drinking from his water bowl.<\/p>\n
The words that best describe my feelings right now are loneliness and sadness.<\/p>\n
Over the weekend before I lost him, I took Buddy for some long walks. He enjoyed the walks but then he always enjoyed being with me. I never left him alone for more than 5 hours the entire time I was blessed to have him in my life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What can I say? He was more than just my dog. He truly was my best and only true friend. How can you deal with something like that?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I took him camping with me every year to Assateague Island in Maryland, Although he absolutely hated being in a car, he did love the outdoors. But then, what dog doesn’t love roaming around outside and smelling everything that they can.<\/p>\n Even though I would bring a beach blanket for him, he would always lay directly on the sand. He would constantly get sand on his lips and nose. It’s too bad I never got a photo of that.<\/p>\n I have a camping trip to Assateague scheduled in early October and I’m not sure if I want to go without him. But that is a few months away, and I’ll make that decision when the date approaches.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let me share the best things I remember about him:<\/p>\n They are the main wonderful traits and behaviors of Buddy. He was also a darn good looking boy!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When it comes to when YOU should put your dog down, the answer is I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know your dog, his\\her health condition or your financial situation, I can only share my story. You’ll have to figure out when the time is right for your dog, but I believe you will now when.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Around 5:00 PM on Monday, June 10th, my dog Buddy would not stop scratching. I yelled at him to stop which made him go lie down on the couch in the backroom. I feel like a monster yelling at him a day before he died \u2013 I\u2019m so sorry Buddy.<\/p>\n For the last 5-6 years, he has had a horrible skin condition. Five different vets couldn\u2019t identify the problem but steroids, antibiotics, and antibacterial medicines always made him better. But it only took a few months until the skin issues reappeared.<\/p>\n Prolonged steroid use is a problem, so a new vet suggested just the antibiotics and antibacterial medicine. That was mid-April of this year. He looked good by the time the pills ran out.<\/p>\n Once his medicine was gone I was supposed to schedule another appointment for a reevaluation and refills of the prescriptions. But then my cat Little Rascal started showing problems. He started eating voraciously, then he stopped eating altogether.<\/p>\n I took Little rascal to the vet<\/a> on May 10th and then again the following day when I had to euthanize him. He had a massive growth near his abdomen (he was only 8 years old). Little Rascal loved my dog.<\/p>\n Little Rascal’s vet visits left me very short on funds. That prevented me from scheduling a vet appointment to refill Buddy’s prescriptions. I think the lack of steroids is what enabled the bacterial and fungal affections to either go to his brain or into his blood causing the seizures.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t know that the skin condition that he had for the past 5 years could create the seizures. But it was my lack of money that may have resulted in his death because I did not renew the prescriptions for him. I don\u2019t know if I can ever forgive myself for that.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So at approximately 5:30 I heard a ruckus in the backroom. I went to take a look at what Buddy was doing and I saw that he had fallen off the couch and was having a major seizure. It seemed to last for many minutes and I did all I could to prevent him from hurting himself. It was a terrifying experience.<\/p>\n A former dog walking client of mine gave me a ride to the vet. He actually helped carry Buddy up the steps to the entrance. After their initial check of him, they gave me some pills to hopefully stop the seizures.<\/p>\n I decided to walk him home but it was difficult going. He kept turning his head to the right and then pulling to the right. It was like he just suffered a stroke. The same rhythmic looking to the right and then pulling to the right. It was not like he wanted to go right, but that he involuntarily kept turning that way. I can’t explain it any better than that.<\/p>\n He ended up vomiting his night meal along with the pill. I grabbed what was left of the pill and put it in his mouth though he resisted.<\/p>\n But he kept having seizures. I gave him another pill in the middle of the night but the seizures wouldn\u2019t stop. It was horrible to see him go through that and I knew what it meant, though I still hoped the pills would help.<\/p>\n He kept stumbling into things between seizures, so I locked him in the backroom and safety proofed the area. I couldn\u2019t bear seeing him that way. He was walking in circles, crashing into every object and other strange behaviors.<\/p>\n Then I tried to get some sleep, though I only slept a few hours. At about sunrise, I noticed that he had not moved from a particular spot in the backroom. He wasn’t walking around anymore, instead, he was just laying on the floor either having more seizures or constantly shaking.<\/p>\n The sequence of events was a major seizure, then a short break in seizures, then more seizures, then stroke-like behavior, vomiting his meal, then constant seizures followed by total confusion, and finally immobility.<\/p>\n I didn’t see him getting better when he seemed to just be getting worse. It was time to put my dog to sleep – to end his suffering.<\/p>\n I got a ride from another client to the vet and I had to carry Buddy from my place to the car, and then again into the vet.<\/p>\n I was with him when his suffering ended. It was about noon on Tuesday, June 4th. He was somewhere between 10 and 11 years old but I know he had a few years left in him at least.<\/p>\n When should you put your dog down? You\u2019ll know when.<\/p>\n You will know when the time is right but hopefully not by experiencing what I experienced. And hopefully, not having your dog experience what my dog did in the last 18 hours of his life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was either after when my cat Charlie died or when Squeaks died that I was searching for something about coping with the loss of a pet. That is when I found a website with the Rainbow Bridge poem. I lost it when I first read it. Here is it:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.<\/span><\/p>\n When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.<\/span><\/p>\n They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.<\/span><\/p>\n You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.<\/span><\/p>\n Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….<\/span><\/p>\n The author is unknown so feel free to copy the text and paste it into a word document if you want. You go read it when you are thinking of the pet you lost. And if the pet you lost was a female, then you can change the words \u201chis\u201d and \u201che\u201d in the 3rd paragraph to \u201cher\u201d and \u201cshe”.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If the rainbow bridge poem does not console you after losing a pet, then here are some resources and ideas that might.<\/p>\n You could do an online search for \u201cpet loss support group near me\u201d to see if there are any support groups in your area. Also try \u201cpet grief counseling near me\u201d, \u201cpet grief support group near me\u201d, \u201cpet loss counseling near me\u201d and other similar search terms.<\/p>\n I also found two great websites that have a list of other websites that list pet loss support groups and resources. The first is Best Friends<\/a> and the other is Lap of Love<\/a>.<\/p>\n Or you could try some of the things that I did.<\/p>\n First<\/strong>: Try writing down all you can about the pet that you lost. I believe writing in such a situation is very therapeutic. Plus it will record things that you may forget as time goes by.<\/p>\n Second<\/strong>: I meditated with a white candle and a photo of Buddy and thought only about him and the things we experienced together.<\/p>\n Third<\/strong>: Print any or all of the photos of your pet. I go thru my photo album to look at Squeaks and Charlie. I\u2019ll be adding images of Little Rascal and Buddy to that album, and I\u2019ll put their photos next to each other since they were so close.<\/p>\n Fourth<\/strong>: Reenact your favorite activities that you did with the pet you lost. My ritual is in the final section below.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019ve learned that I will not adopt any other pets until my financial situation is such that I will always be able to provide for their medical needs.<\/p>\n How am I now? Far from okay.<\/p>\n In general, the longest walks for Buddy were his night walks around 6:30 PM. He had a handful of places that were his favorites.<\/p>\n His absolute favorite was the little park near the pet store because he knew I would often take him to the store. He loved walking down the aisle that had the rawhide and bones. I can\u2019t believe he never just bit into one and started chewing.<\/p>\n Here is the ritual I am doing now. Since he was euthanized, many nights I have taken a walk to his favorite spots and always with his collar either in my pocket or in my hand.<\/p>\n I\u2019m sure life will get in the way sometimes, but I have no intention of ever stopping those walks and always with his collar with me.<\/p>\n And I\u2019m trying to change my thoughts, words, and actions to be more like him since in so many ways he was better than me. I\u2019m, going to start asking myself some questions as I go through each day:<\/p>\n \u201cWhat would Buddy do?\u201d If I can model myself after my dog then I’ll end up becoming the best version of myself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I love and miss you Buddy and I\u2019m sorry for everything. Sorry for not being able to save you and sorry for not always treating you the way that you deserved. Please forgive me!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019ll talk to you tonight Buddy \u2013 when we go on our night walk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Losing a pet is very difficult, whether it is a dog, cat or any beloved pet. I recently was faced with putting my dog to sleep and I’ll never be the same. This post is a tribute to my dog Buddy. Hopefully, it helps you if you are also grieving the loss of a pet after euthanasia.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4917,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"enable","ocean_disable_heading":"on","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[79,86],"class_list":["post-4924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pet-services-blog","tag-pet-euthanasia","tag-pet-loss","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"Losing](\"https:\/\/fairmountpetservice.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Buddy-favorite-photo.jpg\")
Losing my dog and my best friend at the same time<\/h3>\n
![\"My](\"https:\/\/fairmountpetservice.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Buddy11.jpg\")
A little about my dog Buddy and why he was so special<\/h3>\n
![\"Buddy](\"https:\/\/fairmountpetservice.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Buddy-in-bed.jpg\")
\n
When to put your dog down<\/h3>\n
![\"Buddy](\"https:\/\/fairmountpetservice.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Buddy-bandana-profile.jpg\")
His final hours<\/h3>\n
From late night to the end<\/h4>\n
The Rainbow Bridge poem<\/h3>\n
Sources of help and suggested rituals<\/h4>\n
![\"Losing](\"https:\/\/fairmountpetservice.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/thin-Buddy.jpg\")
What I\u2019ve learned after losing a pet and how I am now<\/h2>\n
\n\u201cHow would Buddy feel?\u201d<\/p>\n![\"Buddy](\"https:\/\/fairmountpetservice.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/BuddySitting.jpg\")